The Things We Get Covered In

As a veterinary technician, I’ve wound up with a lot of things on me that would send most people running for the hills screaming bloody murder. And at first, a lot of it did gross me out, but after awhile you start to get numb to certain things- urine, puss/fluid from ruptured cysts, feces…the list could go on. I use to get grossed out really easy (my cousins love telling the story about how one year around Easter when we were kids the smell of the vinegar combined with those food coloring cups made me vomit), but now it takes a lot to gross me out.

One day I was assisting with a very, very nervous pooch who we needed to get blood on. The only way I couldĀ  keep the dog from bouncing around was to lay my whole upper body on her (she wasn’t very big, maybe 35-40lbs at most). The poor thing was shaking the whole time, and after awhile, I felt something warm on my stomach- my first thought was great, the dog peed on me.

When we finished and I stood up, I wished it was urine.

The dog had defecated. And because the lower part of my abdomen was up against her rear end it smeared everywhere!! The entire lower part of my shirt was covered in feces. Of course, the doctor who was near by and saw burst out laughing, because that’s how she rolls. I handed the leash to another tech and bolted for the bathroom.

Once in the bathroom, I realized my luck had gotten worse- I hadn’t done laundry in awhile and I was wearing an older scrub shirt that was a bit too tight, and usually when I take this shirt off I pull it off so that when its off its inside out.

Meaning that the front of the shirt would be touching my face. Oh hell no!

I opened the door just as another tech was bringing me an extra scrub shirt, and had to ask her to pull the shirt off of me. Once the shirt was off, I realized that there was also some on my pants near the crotch. Thankfully it wasn’t much, so that cleaned up pretty easily. But then…I got nervous because of how thin scrub clothing is, I decided to check, erm, other articles of clothing.

And sure enough, there was feces on the front of my underwear. And of course, I don’t bring extras of those to work (but you better believe I do now!). Oh, and did I mention that this was at 10am and I had to work until close, which is around 7:30-8pm? Yea, what a wonderful start to a day…Ugh.

2 comments so far

  1. Bongo on

    I definitely appreciate all the people who work at my vet’s office more after hearing your stories. I’m sure this was disastrous when it happened, but your story made me laugh.


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